Living in Survival Mode: How Modern Age Reshapes Our Minds and Relationships?
In today’s fast-paced, hyper-competitive world, our bodies and minds are constantly subjected to the relentless demands of capitalism. The modern age forces our nervous system to navigate a world where rest is seen as laziness, productivity is the sole measure of worth, and scarcity is an ever-present reality. Under such pressures, our mental well-being is compromised, and our relationships suffer, leaving us feeling isolated and disconnected. From a relational and psychoanalytic perspective, it becomes clear that our psychological distress is deeply rooted in the societal structures that shape our daily existence.
The Modern Age Grip on Our Nervous System
Our nervous system, biologically wired for connection, safety, and homeostasis, is now entrapped in a perpetual state of survival. The demands of capitalism—deadlines, bills, unpaid labor, and the omnipresent hustle culture—push our bodies to their limits while constantly demanding more. This relentless pace forces individuals into hypervigilance, keeping their nervous system in a chronic state of fight-or-flight.
Consider how often you check your emails first thing in the morning, your heart racing with anticipation of missed deadlines. Or the way your stomach knots at the thought of an unexpected expense. These are not isolated experiences but rather symptoms of a system designed to keep you on edge, always preparing for the next challenge.
Recent comments from corporate leaders, such as L&T chairman advocating for a 90-hour workweek and Narayana Murthy suggesting a 70-hour workweek, reflect the deep-seated obsession with overwork. These statements reinforce the toxic cultural norm that equates long hours with dedication and success, despite the detrimental impact on mental and physical health. The capitalist framework infiltrates our psyche, shaping our internal narratives around self-worth and adequacy. The unconscious message embedded within these societal structures is clear: “You are only as good as your productivity.” As a result, individuals struggle with feelings of guilt and shame whenever they attempt to step back, rest, or prioritize their emotional needs.
The Impact on Relationships and the Self
In relational psychoanalysis, the therapeutic relationship itself is seen as a primary agent of healing. However, within a capitalist framework, relationships often become transactional rather than meaningful, driven by efficiency rather than genuine connection. When people are caught in the cycle of overwork and survival, the ability to engage in deep, emotionally nourishing relationships diminishes.
For example, a friend’s message asking to meet might feel like another task to squeeze into your packed schedule, rather than an opportunity for genuine connection. Conversations with loved ones may revolve around work stress, financial concerns, or future plans—leaving little space for emotional presence and authenticity.
Attachment theories suggest that our earliest relational experiences shape our sense of self and capacity for connection. Capitalism, by prioritizing individualism and competition, disrupts these attachment bonds and fosters a sense of isolation. In this way, our basic human need for connection and intimacy is deprioritized, leaving us in an emotional desert, longing for meaningful engagement but unable to access it due to exhaustion and stress.
The Illusion of Control and the Internalization of Capitalist Ideals
Capitalism thrives on the illusion of control. It convinces individuals that if they just work harder, plan better, or stay constantly “on,” they can achieve security and fulfillment. This belief aligns with psychoanalytic concepts of the superego—the internalized voice of societal expectations and pressures. The capitalist superego is unforgiving, pushing individuals toward unattainable ideals of success and productivity. It fosters an internal critic that constantly questions, “Am I doing enough?” leading to pervasive self-doubt and an ever-present sense of failure.
The internalization of these capitalist ideals creates a split within the self. One part strives for rest and connection, while the other feels guilty for not being productive enough. This internal conflict often manifests as anxiety, depression, and somatic symptoms such as chronic fatigue, headaches, and digestive issues.
Shame and the Need to Prove Worth
One of the most profound effects of capitalism on the psyche is the creation of shame—a deeply felt sense of not being enough. Psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott emphasized the importance of the “true self” and “false self.” Under capitalism, individuals often adopt a false self that aligns with societal expectations while suppressing their true desires, needs, and vulnerabilities. This results in a profound disconnection from the self and others, as individuals are forced to perform a role that keeps them alienated from their authentic selves.
Shame often arises when individuals cannot meet the unrealistic standards set by capitalism. They feel inadequate, not because they lack capability, but because the system is designed to foster feelings of insufficiency. This experience of shame becomes internalized, further entrenching the belief that self-worth is tied solely to output and external validation.
Breaking Free: Reclaiming Rest and Connection
Healing from the psychological impact of capitalism requires a conscious effort to reclaim rest, connection, and self-compassion. From a relational perspective, healing can occur through relationships that validate one’s intrinsic worth beyond productivity. Seeking therapy, engaging in meaningful conversations, and building communities that prioritize mutual support over competition can help individuals reframe their narratives around success and self-worth.
Consider setting boundaries with work, reclaiming time for activities that nourish your soul, and seeking relationships where you feel valued for who you are, not what you achieve.
Psychoanalytic therapy offers a space to explore and dismantle the unconscious internalization of capitalist values. Through this process, individuals can begin to recognize how societal pressures have shaped their self-perceptions and work toward reclaiming their autonomy and authenticity.
Moving Toward a Sustainable Future
As we navigate this modern world, it is crucial to challenge the pervasive belief that exhaustion is a prerequisite for success. We must advocate for systemic changes that prioritize human well-being over profit, recognizing that true mental health thrives in environments that honor rest, emotional expression, and relational depth.
By understanding the profound impact of capitalism on our nervous system through a relational and psychoanalytic lens, we can begin to foster healthier ways of living, working, and relating—ones that prioritize authenticity, connection, and true well-being.
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Childhood: Why Does it Matter?
For over a century, we’ve accepted a compelling idea about human nature: that our childhoods set the tone for our adult lives. According to psychotherapists, those early years influence how we love, trust, and relate to ourselves and others. Yet, despite the intellectual appeal of this concept, many of us struggle to feel its truth deeply. Can those distant, hazy years really hold the key to understanding who we are today? How much of our present lives are shaped by fleeting memories, old photos, and family holidays? Could this theory of childhood’s profound influence simply be a widespread misconception?
To explore this further, let’s consider some of the most common questions—and challenges—surrounding this idea:
How Can Childhood Be So Important When Nothing Major Happened?
It’s easy to accept that traumatic childhoods, marked by abuse or neglect, can leave lasting scars. But what about the rest of us, whose childhoods involved nothing more than a few arguments or emotional ups and downs? Can these relatively uneventful years really shape us?
This question is reminiscent of the scepticism people had about microbiology in the late 19th century. At the time, many couldn’t believe that something as tiny as a microbe could contaminate an entire city’s water supply. They thought only big problems could have big causes. Similarly, we might underestimate how seemingly small or subtle experiences can deeply affect our psychological landscape. Just as an invisible bacterium can make us sick, small emotional dynamics in childhood can ripple through our adult lives in ways we don’t always recognize.
But My Parents Were Good People?
Even loving and well-meaning parents can unintentionally set off patterns that lead to challenges later in life. It doesn’t take overt abuse or trauma for us to feel the effects of difficult dynamics. A parent’s anxiety, emotional distance, or overprotectiveness can shape us in ways we might not even realize, leading to struggles in how we relate to ourselves and others.
Isn’t It Normal for Everyone to Have a Slightly Messed-Up Childhood?
Many people assume that difficult childhoods are just a part of life. Since everyone seems to have their share of struggles growing up, it might feel like there’s no point in reflecting on our own experiences. However, this mindset is similar to how people once viewed dental health in medieval times. Back then, tooth decay and pain were so common that they were considered a normal part of life. Yet today, we know these issues can be largely prevented with proper care.
Likewise, just because many people experience difficulties growing up doesn’t mean those struggles are inevitable or “natural.” With the right understanding and effort, we can address the emotional impact of our childhoods and reduce the prevalence of certain psychological challenges.
My Childhood Feels ‘Normal.’ What’s the Point?
We often struggle to question what we know best. Our families and early experiences are the backdrop of our lives—they feel normal because they’re all we’ve ever known. However, just like scientists use microscopes to detect things the naked eye can’t see, psychotherapists have tools to uncover the hidden influences of childhood on adult behaviour. In therapy rooms, connections between early experiences and present-day struggles become clear. Through patterns observed in countless individuals, therapists witness firsthand how childhood experiences often shape adult emotional landscapes.
I Don’t Remember My Childhood Having That Big of an Effect on Me?
Just because we don’t consciously remember how childhood shaped us doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. We don’t recall learning to speak, yet language became ingrained in us early on. Similarly, our emotional habits—how we handle relationships, process emotions, and view ourselves—are learned unconsciously during our formative years. These emotional patterns are often as fixed as our native tongue, which makes them difficult but not impossible to change.
If the Past Can’t Be Changed, Why Dwell on It?
It’s true that we can’t go back and change our childhoods. But by examining how the past continues to affect us, we can start to reshape its impact. Understanding the roots of our fears, anxieties, and patterns of behaviour can help us break free from them. Over time, we can learn healthier ways to interact with the world, opening up paths to greater creativity, openness, and self-acceptance.
Isn’t It Easier to Just Move On and Forget About It?
Avoiding these topics is understandable. Most of us have developed ways to protect ourselves from the pain or confusion we encountered growing up. But reflecting on the past isn’t about getting stuck there—it’s about finding a way to move forward. By exploring how our early experiences shaped us, we can let go of old defenses and embrace a more authentic, peaceful present.
The invitation to look back at childhood isn’t about assigning blame or dwelling on the past. It’s about understanding where we’ve come from so we can live more freely and fully in the present.
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The State of Mainstream Psychology and Mental Health in India: A Patch on Capitalism
Psychology has long been recognized as a vital field focused on understanding the human mind and behavior, fostering well-being, and addressing mental health disorders. However, recently, it feels as though the psychology and mental health in India are being co-opted by capitalism, particularly in corporate settings. This shift has compromised the essence of psychology, reducing it to a tool that serves economic interests rather than prioritizing genuine mental health care.
The Essence of Psychology
At its core, psychology is dedicated to exploring the complexities of the human psyche, considering factors that influence thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. The therapeutic relationship between a psychologist and a client is the most important factor in effective mental health care. It requires patience, empathy, and a deep commitment to long-term healing. Most psychological approaches emphasize the importance of this relationship, focusing on understanding the client’s experiences and fostering a journey of self-realization and growth. However, the modern-day crisis in mental health care has made us forget this fundamental idea of the therapeutic relationship.
The Corporate Influence on Mental Health
The corporate sector, driven by profit and efficiency, often demands quick fixes and measurable outcomes. This creates a clash with the fundamental principles of psychology, which advocate for a thorough and patient approach to mental health treatment. For instance, my recent job interviews in corporate mental health settings highlighted this disconnect.
During one interview at a well-known hospital, I was made to wait for two and a half hours before being called in. When the interview finally began, the psychiatrist seemed disinterested, impatient, and hurried. He didn’t even seem to differentiate between relational psychoanalysis and classical psychodynamics, dismissing a field he clearly didn’t understand. This interaction reflected a larger issue in corporate mental health settings: the prioritization of efficiency and profit over meaningful, patient-centered care.
The Agitation of the Corporate Therapist
The psychiatrist’s frustration during the interview, especially after a long day, underscores a broader issue in corporate mental health environments. Therapists working in these settings are often overworked and under pressure to deliver immediate results. This pressure can lead to a superficial approach to therapy, focusing on short-term symptom relief rather than addressing underlying mental health struggles. These shortcuts undermine the therapeutic process and cater to the capitalist demand for quick fixes in therapy, rather than true emotional healing.
The Loss of True Therapeutic Value
In a capitalist framework, the deep, relational aspects of therapy are often overshadowed by the need for productivity and cost-effectiveness. People seeking help for their emotional distress are often caught in a system that is just as stressful as the one they are trying to escape. Therapists, too, become cogs in the capitalist machine, unable to practice the patient, empathetic care that is essential for true mental health care. As a result, the essence of therapy — fostering emotional well-being and long-term healing — is lost in favor of short-term productivity.
The Call for Change
It’s crucial to recognize and resist the growing capitalist influence on psychology. The field must reclaim its roots, emphasizing the importance of the therapeutic relationship and the slow, patient work of understanding and healing. Mental health care should not be reduced to a series of quick fixes but should focus on fostering genuine, long-term well-being. The therapeutic process should be seen as a journey of self-realization, where therapists work to understand their clients’ unique experiences, helping them grow emotionally and mentally.
As we face the challenges of modern life, it is essential to protect the essence of psychology, resisting the pressures of capitalism that threaten its ability to provide meaningful, effective care. Mental health care should always prioritize healing, understanding, and emotional growth over mere productivity. Only then can we ensure that psychology remains a source of hope, healing, and support in an increasingly stressful world.
(Keywords: Mental health care, Anxiety disorders, Depression treatment, Corporate mental health, Relational psychoanalysis, Classical psychodynamics, Mental health struggles, Emotional well-being, Chronic stress, Therapeutic relationship, Capitalism in mental health, Quick fixes in therapy, Long-term healing, Psychosocial approaches, Mental health disorders, Mental Health In India, Mental health advocacy, Self-realization, Emotional distress.)
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