Men’s Mental Health and Masculinity in India: A Relational and Cultural Lens

In the evolving discourse on mental health, men’s struggles often remain underexplored, particularly in culturally complex societies like India. This neglect stems from deeply ingrained notions of masculinity that shape men’s inner worlds and their relationships with society. The intersection of masculinity, marginalization, and mental health in India offers profound insights into the relational and societal forces at play. The societal norms and expectations surrounding masculinity have undergone significant shifts, especially during and after colonization. By integrating insights from psychoanalysis and cultural studies, we can better understand how these dynamics impact men’s mental health today.

Before colonization, Indian masculinity was deeply intertwined with relational and spiritual aspects. Sudhir Kakar, in his psychoanalytic explorations, describes how traditional Indian men maintained close emotional ties, particularly with their mothers, fostering a form of masculinity distinct from the Western ideal of independence and detachment. These bonds often allowed for a greater emotional expression and intimacy within familial relationships, where vulnerability was not necessarily viewed as weakness. However, Ashis Nandy offers a contrasting narrative, highlighting how British colonization reshaped Indian masculinity. Colonial rule imposed Western ideals of manliness—rationality, emotional suppression, physical strength, and dominance. The colonizers framed their version of masculinity as superior, casting Indian men as effeminate and weak. This not only eroded indigenous understandings of masculinity but also stigmatized emotional vulnerability. In post-colonial India, these colonial ideals persist, with men striving to embody a hyper-masculine identity that validates strength and stoicism while dismissing vulnerability. Men who fail to meet these standards often face ridicule or social exclusion, further isolating them and worsening their mental health struggles.

Masculinity and Mental Health: A Complex Interplay

Masculinity in India is tightly bound to cultural expectations that emphasize emotional stoicism, physical endurance, and financial success. From childhood, boys are told to “man up” and suppress vulnerability, creating a rift between their emotional experiences and external behaviors. This disconnection, often described as “toxic masculinity,” does not arise in isolation but is shaped by relationships, societal structures, and historical legacies.

Relational psychoanalysis offers a compelling lens to understand this dynamic. According to this perspective, our early relationships with caregivers and societal messages profoundly shape how we see ourselves and others. For many men, the constant pressure to conform to ideals of masculinity creates a fragile sense of self. They may internalize a harsh inner critic that punishes vulnerability and celebrates hyper-independence.

Men often internalize the voices of authority figures—parents, teachers, or societal norms—as “inner critics” that demand conformity to masculine ideals. These internalized voices can create a split in the psyche:

• The ideal self strives to embody strength, control, and success.
• The real self often feels inadequate, vulnerable, or overwhelmed.

This split creates an internal conflict that manifests in symptoms like guilt, shame, or feelings of failure.

For instance, a man struggling to meet societal expectations as the sole provider for his family may experience feelings of inadequacy when he cannot meet these demands. However, instead of acknowledging these emotions, he might resort to anger, withdrawal, or substance abuse to cope.

Cultural and Societal Pressures

In India, the added layer of socio-economic disparity amplifies these struggles. Men from marginalized communities face systemic oppression that intersects with the pressures of masculinity. The expectation to be strong providers and protectors becomes doubly challenging when access to resources, employment, and dignity is systematically denied.

For example, a migrant laborer working in urban India not only grapples with financial instability but also experiences alienation from his family and community. This isolation compounds his emotional distress, yet seeking therapy might feel like a distant luxury, given societal stigmas and financial constraints.

Even within the urban middle class, the modern pressures of performance—be it academic, professional, or relational—are immense. Men are often caught between traditional ideals of masculinity and modern aspirations of equality and emotional intimacy. This tension creates a psychological burden, often leading to anxiety, depression, or burnout.

The Role of Relationships in Healing

Relational psychoanalysis emphasizes that healing occurs through relationships rather than in isolation. Men’s mental health challenges are not merely individual struggles; they are relational and societal in origin. Therapy, therefore, provides a unique space where men can explore their vulnerabilities, process their relational wounds, and rebuild healthier connections.

Take the example of a man who hesitates to show affection to his partner due to his upbringing, where emotional expressions were labeled as weaknesses. In therapy, he might uncover how his father’s distant behavior shaped his belief system. Through relational exploration, he can begin to reframe his understanding of intimacy and connection, enabling more meaningful relationships.

Such healing, however, cannot be confined to individual therapy alone. Societal change is equally vital. Campaigns promoting emotional literacy among boys and men, workplace policies encouraging mental well-being, and community support systems can foster an environment where vulnerability is no longer a liability.

Dismantling Stigmas and Moving Forward

The path to addressing men’s mental health lies in challenging harmful stereotypes and fostering a culture of openness. This means redefining masculinity to include emotional depth, relational intimacy, and the courage to seek help. It also means addressing systemic barriers that prevent men, especially those from marginalized backgrounds, from accessing mental health services.

In India, mental health care must be made affordable, accessible, and culturally sensitive. This includes initiatives that integrate mental health discussions into schools, workplaces, and community spaces. Peer support groups for men, particularly those in rural or economically disadvantaged areas, can also be powerful.

Ultimately, men’s mental health is not just about treating symptoms but about reimagining societal norms. It is about creating a world where men are free to express their full range of emotions, build meaningful relationships, and embrace their humanity without fear or judgment.

As we strive for this change, the words of psychoanalyst Nancy McWilliams resonate deeply: “Healing emerges through relationships, not through isolation.”. By addressing men’s mental health relationally and culturally, we can pave the way for a more inclusive and empathetic society.