Tragic Case of Atul Subhash: Why Discrediting Feminism Fails Men and Women Alike

The recent tragic suicide of Atul Subhash, who left behind a harrowing hour-long video blaming his wife and in-laws for his suffering, has sparked heated debates across India. His death has become more than a personal tragedy—it has evolved into a flashpoint for conversations around men’s mental health, familial abuse, and gender-based struggles. Yet, amid calls for justice, another troubling narrative has emerged. Many people have seized the moment to attack feminism, asserting that men suffer far more than women and that the women’s rights movement is somehow responsible for men’s struggles. This reaction reveals a deep misunderstanding of both patriarchy and feminism, turning a critical mental health crisis into a gendered blame game.

Men’s Suffering Is Real, But Not Unique

There is no denying that men suffer. Statistics show that men are more likely to die by suicide, face incarceration, and struggle with expressing vulnerability due to societal expectations. Influential figures like Jordan Peterson—whose views often seem designed to provoke rather than enlighten—frequently highlight how men disproportionately bear the brunt of certain societal pressures. Men’s issues—mental health struggles, emotional repression, and societal shame—are pressing concerns that need visibility and action.

However, framing men’s suffering as proof that women are somehow less oppressed ignores the broader context. Men are not the only victims of societal structures. Women, too, face systemic injustices, from domestic violence and workplace harassment to gender-based discrimination. Historically, women have endured a longer legacy of marginalization, making them a more vulnerable social group. This is not to diminish men’s struggles but to acknowledge the multifaceted nature of suffering.

Patriarchy Hurts Everyone

The root cause of this suffering lies in patriarchy—a system designed primarily by men but perpetuated by all genders. Patriarchy enforces rigid gender roles: men must be stoic providers while women are confined to caregiving roles. This system suppresses men’s emotional expression, leaving them isolated, while simultaneously denying women autonomy and agency.

Men’s higher suicide rates often stem from the intense shame they experience when they feel they have failed societal expectations. Similarly, women frequently grapple with guilt tied to the burdens placed upon them. These emotional patterns, though not absolute, reflect how patriarchy weaponizes emotions differently against men and women.

A recent visit to Ajmer Dargah brought this reality into sharp focus. Among the thousands of devotees seeking solace, women outnumbered men, visibly burdened by emotional and psychological struggles. Many women knelt in prayer, eyes glistening with tears, their postures heavy with unseen burdens. Their presence served as a poignant reminder that mental health issues transcend gender. Both men and women suffer—albeit often in different ways—and both deserve compassion and support.

The Fallacy of Discrediting Feminism

The backlash against feminism following Atul’s death reveals a deeper societal misunderstanding. Many critics of feminism claim to advocate for men’s rights, but their arguments often devolve into gendered blame games rather than constructive conversations. Discrediting women’s struggles in the name of men’s rights does nothing to ease men’s suffering—it only deepens divisions.

True advocacy for men’s mental health requires dismantling the very structures feminism seeks to change. Feminism is not about denying men’s pain; it’s about creating a world where no one is confined by outdated gender expectations.

Moving Forward

Atul’s death should be a wake-up call—not a battleground for ideological wars but an opportunity to address mental health and dismantle patriarchal norms. Justice for Atul means more than punishing those directly responsible; it means creating a society where men can express vulnerability without shame and women can live without fear.

Blaming feminism for men’s suffering is a simplistic and harmful response. Genuine concern for men’s rights must involve advocating for systemic changes that benefit everyone—changes that feminism has long championed. True justice will come not from dividing genders but from building a world where all can thrive, free from the constraints of patriarchy.

Addressing men’s mental health requires collective effort. This includes better mental health services, reducing societal stigma, and fostering supportive communities. It means challenging harmful stereotypes, supporting emotional literacy from an early age, and recognizing that strength comes from vulnerability. Men, women, and all genders suffer under patriarchy in different ways. Recognizing this interconnected struggle is the first step toward meaningful change.